Tag: Christianity

Celebrate Life, celebrate God!


You hear singers and people on news programs saying things like “We celebrate life itself!”, usually with much enthusiasm. Yet, we kill unborn children by the hundreds every day! There are murders, planned and spur of the moment, that seem to happen almost every hour of every day. So, why don’t more people actually celebrate Life!?

Is it such a hard concept that we say it and it sounds good but it isn’t something that we can actually do? It is just a mantra that we use to sound important or special in our own eyes and the eyes of those around us, right? In a manner of speaking, yes and no. I know, confusing.

My point…if you really intend to celebrate Life, then act like it and get out there and enjoy life! Do spontaneous things, stuff that you haven’t done but have wanted to do such as things which might be on your “bucket list” maybe? Yes, Jessica, there are people who truly need to get out and DO these things! Not just because they need to get up, like me, but because life is too short to dream about them and just say “I’ll do it later”. There may not be a “later”, for many of us there won’t be.

Now, I am not trying to get into “doom and gloom” here, I am just saying that winter for this year is nearly over and spring is getting closer. For many of us, it doesn’t seem that way but it will soon enough. My point on this page and this post, is to point to God Himself, the Author of Life! When we celebrate Life, we should be celebrating God’s purpose in Life and we should be celebrating Him as well! Don’t get into this “new age” thinking that God is not part of the 21st century, He is part of ALL of them! He is now, He was then and He will be God no matter what century that you might be thinking of!

In spite of evolution and its proponents, God is the Author of Life and everything that goes along with the creation of Life, and the maintaining of Life. Yours and mine and everyone else’s on this planet including the animals, fish, mammals, and birds. So, why is everyone so hell-bent on taking Him out of Life? Our everyday living even! It seems that the laws which have been adopted lately have been putting more pressure on just one group of people, Christians. Specifically, to keep us from expressing or following our mandate of how we live and what we are supposed to be doing with our lives.

The Bible clearly says that: “Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. 19Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations,b baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. 20Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Matthew 28: 18-20

This is the command and the commission that we, as Christians, have been given. We have not been told to kill or behead people if they won’t convert to our way of thinking and worshipping, but to love them as Christ did and to tell them of the gospel. Though, it seems that we are leprous in many people’s eyes, they don’t want anything to do with us or our religion yet they will gladly accept almost any other religion without complaint. Why is that? What is so attractive about all other religions that makes Christianity seem as if we are trying to give you a sandwich made of mouldy bread and maggot-infested meat?

Celebrate the Author of Life and the Finisher of Life itself, God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit. Between them all, the Earth and all that is in it were formed, created, and established in six days. The day of God’s “rest” has not ended, yet He is still creating, He is still giving Life to all of His Creation. He offers eternity to you if you will believe in Him and in Jesus’ work on the cross and the atonement for all of your sins and mine. This is your choice…it is not forced upon you nor will it ever be. Choose Life in Him and in His Son because the alternative is an eternity of the same punishment that Satan will get one day. Celebrate Life from God’s point of view…the grander scale of the entire universe, big and small, on Earth and in the far-flung galaxies! He knows you better than you do, so give Him the chance to infuse your life with His Life and the possibilities are endless!

Living with Love


Consider that God is Love and His Love for us is perfect. Could you live with His Love and experience it every day? Many people seem to think that this is impossible. That we, being flawed human beings, can’t live this way. We can’t possibly experience that kind of real Love daily. Why not? If you have asked Jesus into your life and you have really given yourself to Him, why can’t you feel His love flowing back to you?

You can by worshipping Him every day through prayer and reading and studying God’s Word. Experiencing His Love through His Spirit and the interaction between your spirit and His. I have felt this before and at times it almost overwhelmed me when I was studying my Bible.

I know, many of you will see these as being impossible to do. It takes too much time or it’s too hard to keep your eyes focused on Jesus that much. You know, He loves you anyway but you should show some love back in His direction too. Yes, you can accept Jesus and then decide to sit down and do nothing. You still have the blessing of being a child of God and you can be selfish with your salvation and keep it all to yourself.

But, WHY would you do that? His disciples didn’t and wouldn’t keep quiet even after being flogged and imprisoned and we shouldn’t be either. It is true that many of us can’t go on missions overseas, but with the Internet we can let people know about Him from our homes, no matter where we live. Our blessed existence is in His hands and His power if we have given our lives to Him and we are watched over every day by His angels who strengthen and encourage us according to His will for us.

Don’t laugh, angels exist just as Satan exists and his demons. These are not figments of someone’s imagination. Remember the Bible says that we struggle against “powers and principalities and demons”, that is the spiritual realm that we have to deal with as Christians. Diseases and all sorts of trouble are brought into people’s lives by these beings. Our life in Christ is to be in opposition to these forces of Satan by way of prayer and praise. In expressing our praise to Him we are expressing our love for Him, but we are also strengthening the Spirit so that it can oppose Satan’s forces in the spiritual realms.

Jesus loved us enough to die for us and I think that the least we could do will be to express that love in our prayer and our praise to Him when we read His Word and meditate on it.

What is going to happen?


That is a loaded question to which I really don’t have an answer. I can’t see the future except through the prophecies of God in the Bible and from that our future is getting darker. Why? Because of our own natural tendencies. I know, there are many people who really don’t believe in God or in anything that is contained in His Word. That’s okay. You are entitled and able to believe whatever you wish to that might give you some comfort.

We always wonder what is beyond the curve or over the hill and it is the same way we feel about the future. Most everyone wonders about what is going to happen in our life and many times we try to plan for it or make plans for those future days. The problem is that we aren’t given those days until they get here. The only day that you actually have is today, and even that is not guaranteed for the full twenty-four hours.

We are fragile and we do make mistakes, all of the time to some degree or another. Many of life’s problems come to light when we try to do something which is beyond our ability or we attempt something which our common sense is telling us not to do and we do it anyway.

I know, many people especially men think that they are invincible, particularly those in military service but the fact is that it is only modern protection which makes them able to come home. Mostly in one piece. During the wars before Vietnam, the injuries which many of our disabled Vets come home with would’ve killed them or they would’ve died en route to medical help. We look at our lives from two perspectives most of the time…right now and tomorrow.

We want gratification of our wants and desires immediately if not sooner. Sometimes we have the patience to wait until tomorrow for some things, but our country and its culture has become so focused on instant gratification until very few children know what it means to wait from Mom to cook a meal or to go to the library to read a real book.

The future isn’t fixed in stone but the outcome of the future is. God has already ordained what will happen at the end of this age and at the end of the one thousand-year reign of Christ. Those outcomes are not up for debate, whether you believe in God or not you will bow to Him one day and acknowledge that He is God and King. Wouldn’t you rather invite Him into your life and your heart now? So that your eternity will be so much better and enjoyable for you and those that you love?

I know that many will choose to go their own way and follow whatever suits them but in the end, when your life is over and you do find out the Truth, it is too late to change your mind at that point. We are only given this life as a sort of “practice run”, once this existence is over your decisions made here will have an effect on your eternal home. Your soul, that part of you that longs for purpose and meaning, is immortal and your future home depends upon the decisions which you make now, today while you have it. As I said, you aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Seek Him while He can be found in this life, before your eternity begins.

Are you a follower, a leader, or a Christian?


In many ways we are called to be all three, especially if we claim to be Christians. Today, we are supposed to be a people who follow Jesus and His example, not the “politically correct” way but His Way of Life! If you are a follower of Him, will you be one when the persecution comes to America, and it will come sooner than you think! Will you stay true to your faith in Jesus and your claim to Him when someone is threatening your life or your family’s security?

We need to be that strong in our faith, we are supposed to be that strong so that we can stand in our faith and for our communities and our churches. We are also called to be examples and leaders of our churches and our families faith. If we aren’t doing that then what is the next generation going to learn? Who are they going to learn it from?

God gave that responsibility to parents. To raise their children in the knowledge and reverence of Him, not to be afraid of Him as if God were going to strike you with a bolt of lightning for doing something wrong. God allows us to make mistakes, but we aren’t supposed to live in those mistakes. We are supposed to learn from them, repent of the sinful ways that we had and move into a life of service to Him and not to ourselves.

Christians are supposed to be fundamentally bound to the Bible, God’s Word. It really isn’t supposed to be an option because if you choose to not believe one part of it, you are invalidating all of it! We have to be consistent in our faith in God and in the Word of God because if we aren’t going to believe all of God’s Word, then why be a Christian at all?

The belief in the Word of God comes with the faith that you have in Him and His Son. If that isn’t there, then you need to check with the Bible and see if you really do believe in what you say that you believe. This is exactly why there are so many people who don’t want to believe in God and who don’t go to church. They see all of these “so-called Christians” that go to church and then don’t live their lives by what they are claiming to believe on a daily basis.

This is exactly why so many people choose not to come to churches. They see many of those who claim Christ on Sunday, but who walk a different way during the week. The walk of a Christian is not an optional thing. It is just like walking on a thin line which we are called to do, you are either on it or not. Yes, we fall from our walk and step off of the line, but we should try to get back on it as soon as possible. Don’t decide that once you fall off that you can’t get back up! You don’t learn to ride a bike or a horse that way and your walk with Jesus is no different!

When you choose to be a Christian, regardless of how long ago it was, you are in a committed relationship. One which is dependent upon you to keep it going. Jesus has already done everything that He needed to do, it is up to you to seek Him out daily in His Word. Pray for your day to be the one that He would want. Keep your mind focused upon Him during the day, as often as you can, because the more you keep Him on your mind then the less chances Satan will have to cause problems in your day.

Make sure that, if you are a Christian, you are walking with Jesus and not dragging Him up when someone asks you about Him and then pushing Him away so that you can do what you want to do. Prayer is good, if it is done for the right reason and God hears those prayers when your heart is in them too. If you are just saying something like “God bless you”, then it is just an automatic thing and really doesn’t mean much. Consider what you are thinking because God knows what you are thinking too. Nothing is hidden from Him no matter where you might be.

Wolves in disguise


Many children’s tales tell of wolves in sheep’s skins and Jesus warned us in His teachings that many would come in the latter days seeking to draw people from the church or from faith by pretending to be something that they are not. Yes, it is happening today! Like it or not, we can’t ignore it and we can’t just brush it away because they are here and causing problems in the church and in society in general. Even if I knew their names, I wouldn’t tell you but the way that the “news” programs only report good “news” that looks and sounds good. They are doing exactly what the Bible says, yelling “peace and safety, all is well”, when the world around us is far from that these days.

Are people able to recognize these disguises? I don’t think so. Mainly because we have elected many of them into offices of importance in our country in the last seven years. We listen to their ideas of how the population should be receiving the wonderful news of “affordable health care”, yet very few of us can afford it or the insurance that we are required by law to get. America is not the wonderful land of opportunity that many of us grew up in anymore, it seems to be fuelled more by greed and power than doing what is right and being an example to others.

What happened?

Well, many won’t believe what I am about to say but we brought it on ourselves. Yes, many of you will believe that part but how we did it is not so easy. It was gradual at first and many of the changes started over fifty years ago, but the changes which sped up our country’s headlong fall came about after 9/11. The leaders of our government decided to use a phrase from the Bible to symbolize our resolve and our determination to rebuild. The problem with this was that the phrase and the verse that they used was a prophetic verse which predicted the type of fall that we would experience afterward, but many of them didn’t take the verse in context. They only used the portion which suited them, like many preachers do today.

Today, the “rapture” of the church is preached all over this land by many, yet one of the verses that is used is never used in context. It is only used partially, so that the effect is changed from that which was intended. 2 Thessalonians 2:2,3: “the day of Christ is at hand. 3 Let no man deceive you by any means: for that day shall not come, except there come a falling away first, and that man of sin be revealed, the son of perdition:”

Your life and mine mean much more to God and His Kingdom than we will ever know until we see Him face to face. God has provided the forgiveness and the path to salvation for each of us, all that we have to do is believe in Jesus and His sacrifice and we are forgiven. For many people this is too simple and too easy, yet that is exactly what God has done for each of us…because He loves us.

Yes, the church will be “taken up in the twinkling of an eye”, but not before the man of sin is revealed and the falling away from the church happens first. Hold fast to your faith, watch and be ready therefore because the days are coming when family will be divided over religious differences and greed. Even if you have to keep a secret place for your Bible, do it. Read it, study it, pray over the words that you read and ask God for the strength to remain steadfast in your faith. He is coming back and the whole world will know it when it happens, not just a few.

 

Love, what is it really?


This being a day that many of us associate with relationships and the feelings associated with them and yet many people don’t know what love really is.

Love is not sex or lust, those are associated with erotic love (lust), but that is not the emotion which would bring about a lasting relationship. One which would grow deeper with time regardless of the health of the one that you love or the amount of money that you have.

There is a movie in the theatres today that is making the erotic lust of someone into a “relationship”. It will be like burning a candle with a blow-torch, it is fun for a while but if it doesn’t grow into something far deeper and even more intimate, then it will burn out like that candle.

Many people chase after feelings like those from a sexual relationship or even the feeling that comes with getting high from drugs or adrenaline or even alcohol. These things are temporary and don’t last at all, but the love that doesn’t ask for anything in return, like the love that comes from God, that is mature love. The kind of deep love that lasts through sickness, heartache, poverty and wealth. It doesn’t matter what happens in your life, that kind of love is what we all search for and yet it is the kind that is so hard to find.

It is the kind of love that only God can bring into your life, whether it is through Jesus or by God bringing you and your “soul-mate” together. He is the only One, the only match-maker Who can answer the prayer of someone who is looking for that special someone who will be there for life, regardless of what life may bring. He is the only Person who can show you the very one who will be faithful and true to you just as He is. That is the relationship that we all are looking for, whether it is an intimate relationship with your spouse or with Jesus.

A relationship that is strong and enduring, whether it is between friends or your spouse or children, is what we crave and hunger for in our lives. Yet, even that relationship can’t take the place of the Relationship between you and Jesus. That One is more deep and connected than any that you can have if you will seek Him out when you feel that call on your life. If you haven’t felt that call yet, then I pray that you will seek Him out by going to church and open your heart to Him. Ask Him into your life and read the Bible, pray that God will give you the wisdom to understand its words and the Truth contained in it and He will.

The Love of Christ is the deepest and most enduring Love that is more than you can imagine or comprehend, yet it is available to you any time. Regardless of how your day is going, good or bad, Jesus is there to comfort and to strengthen you. He is there to heal when you feel broken by depression or injury or sickness, just call to Him. Coming to Him is easy if you believe that He will answer you. He doesn’t turn down anyone who genuinely seeks Him with an open heart asking Him to come and heal their lives.

God’s love for us, all of us, has been present since the first day of Creation. He saw down through the ages who would be needing and seeking Him. He knows you and your life, your problems and your pain and He has the answers for those too. No, I can tell you that your disease or other health problems  won’t immediately go away, but He will be with you and help you through them. In some cases, He may heal you immediately so praise the Lord for it when it comes.

Time for our world is growing short, so I urge you to seek God and His grace for your life. Believe it and in Jesus’ sacrifice for you and ask Him to come into your life so that God can give you eternal life with Him. If you choose not to believe in Jesus or in anything that you may read here, eternity will come for you but it will not be pleasant.

Time is short


In many ways the news and the other media outlets want us to think that we have all of the time in the world. Everything is going to keep on getting better and life will go on just as it always has.

WRONG!!! WAKE UP!!!

Folks, this country and our world at large is headed for a big wake up call and it won’t be something which we will recover from in a few days or weeks. This will be a long time getting fixed. Sounds scary doesn’t it?

Guess what? It is going to happen! All of these shows which keep us watching so-called “reality”, are complete and total jobs to keep us blind to what is happening behind our backs and in front of us. We don’t notice it because we are too busy tweeting or whatever online or we are texting constantly and talking to our “friends”. When what we should be doing is paying attention to what is really happening in the world, not just the tidbits that we get on the “news” programs.

Nearly all of the events which are supposed to happen prior to the trying times foretold in the Bible have come about already. The birth pains which Jesus spoke about are already occurring in natural disasters and heat waves and sudden snow storms and all of the others that are going on around us. The wars and skirmishes that are happening everywhere over disputes about whose religion is the right one or which sect is going to be the best!

All of this was foretold over two thousand years ago, yet many people have ignored the signs or just never even read about it or heard it preached. The problem is that when the climax comes and the really bad stuff begins, then what will the world do? Celebrate? Be glad that there are no more Christians in the world to bother us about how wrong we have been doing things?

When that day comes, and it will come, anyone who has heard about it or maybe seen a movie about it will know that what they thought was wrong. Realization and the reality will truly set in and then the Wrath of God will truly be released on the Earth. The last seventy-two months will be far worse than the first seventy-two months were.

How soon do I think this will happen? I don’t know. I just feel in my spirit that we don’t have a decade or more to ponder and think about it. I could be wrong, but what if I am not? If there is a treaty signed between Israel and all of her neighbours in the next few years then that is the beginning of the first part of the last seven years of this age.

God doesn’t want anyone to die in sin, He wants all who will to come to repentance and believe in Jesus. When you do that your life will just be starting. It doesn’t matter how old in years you may be, your eternity begins when you accept Jesus as your Savior. Then, when you die you will just step away from this life and begin the next one in Heaven. No judgement or penalty for you because Jesus paid your way into God’s Presence. If you don’t accept Jesus then you will be judged by how many times you heard the message and walked away, as well as all of the sinful words and deeds that you did.

Do I have a time-table for when these things will happen? No, God is the only One Who knows the day and the hour of when Tribulation begins. He also knows when your day of Judgement will be. It could be tomorrow or next week or next year, but unless you have asked Jesus into your heart then the judgement will find you guilty of turning away from God’s call on your life. Then you will stand before Satan and he will determine your place in hell. The choice is yours, choose Life in Jesus.

What is going on today?


Many people are asking that question today and every day, so what would you tell them? Would you tell them that global warming was destroying our world? What about radical groups of religious zealots for Islam and Buddhism that are attacking and killing people because they don’t follow their brand of religion? Economies of governments and the budgets of nations are in dire need of help, but from where? The people in those countries don’t have enough money to put food on their table let alone enough money to pay taxes and higher fees for insurance! This world and the people in it need hope and a Savior but from where will he come?

He will come from Heaven and from Scripture into your lives and your hearts if you will choose to allow Him to do so. He is not going to bring pounds of gold to give to you nor is He going to make your problems vanish over night, but He will give you a hope for tomorrow and the strength to get through whatever it may be that is in your path today and tomorrow.

God loves each of us far more than we can know or even understand, yet we don’t seem to want to allow Him into our daily lives, why? Are we so blinded by our own ego and pride that we can’t see that we need Him in our lives? It is possible to let Him into our daily lives without His Presence interrupting our activities. Actually our activities should be in line with His plans for us, but that isn’t possible for many people.

The love that God has for us is far above anything that we can understand, but the closest that we can come to it is the love that most parents have for their children. That is how God views us, as His children. Regardless of our color or our background, He cares about us. No matter where you live or what you may be doing in your life, He is there watching and if you allow Him into your life He will guide your steps and your actions so that others will see Him through you and maybe they will seek Him out too.

In our world every day there is heartache and trouble, from drugs and shootings to violence in the home and religious zealots making statements about which religion we should be following. Some of those zealots may be Christians, but the majority that we hear on the news are from those who don’t believe in any god or those who follow Islam. Most news agencies won’t report anyone who is doing Christian work, unless it gets a headline somehow and usually in a negative way.

Satan is in control of most, if not all, of this negative press so it really shouldn’t be much of a surprise. If you have read some of the prophecies in the Word of God, you know that this is supposed to happen. God knows that it is happening and He is in control. He allows some things that Satan does but thankfully He isn’t allowing Satan free rein on Earth just yet.

Jesus is the only answer to our world’s problems and giving your heart to Him is the only way to come to the Father in Heaven. Seek Him out while you have today. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, only the day that we have and we must use it to the best of our ability. Serve Jesus and allow Him to work through you for the better and greater good of those that you come in contact with. He will grant you peace and security in the Life that you will have after this one.

Christ’s message


Our Lord, Jesus Christ, came to Earth to bring a message and hope to all people. He also came so that all might have a chance at being saved from their sins and from the punishment in eternity.

Yes, God loves you and me and because of this love He sent Jesus to die on the cross and pay the debt that we all owe. The only requirement for us to fulfill is to believe that He did it for us and to accept it by faith in Jesus. You cannot add to the redemptive power of His blood nor can you take anything away from it other than eternal life.

I have had people to say that they don’t believe in God so why should they believe in His Son? It is your choice to feel this way and your choice to follow Jesus or not, God doesn’t force you to do anything. Just as you can’t force someone to love you, He doesn’t either. That choice is completely up to you and it is your choice which will condemn you to hell, not God.

The verse which many know by heart, John 3:16-17 tells the story better than I can: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son; that whosoever believes in Him will have everlasting life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.…”

Jesus did not come into the world the first time to judge anyone, but to bring the news about Himself that through Him all might come to repentance and be saved through faith in Him. When He comes again, He will be a conquering King and Judge of those who have rejected Him. Your life can be more hopeful and better in many ways if you will trust in Jesus, please consider doing so.

There are many who don’t believe and that is their choice. God doesn’t force belief on anyone, because you can’t do that. You either believe or you don’t and belief only comes through faith and that comes by hearing the Word of God preached. God loves all of mankind, but the enemy hates us with a passion that goes beyond human reason. That is the one who brings all of the suffering into the world, Satan and his demons, not God.

If you have ever felt the Holy Spirit speaking to your heart and Spirit at a church service or a crusade or even a television program, I urge you to seek Him out in the Bible. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and cleanse you from your sins. We all have them. I have lied and cheated on tests when I was in school, I have also been a drunk and smoked weed. I don’t deny these things, but Jesus changed me and now I preach and tell others about Him every week and almost every day here and my other blogs.

The words which I have written over the years didn’t come entirely from my own mind. I am not that eloquent, but God gives me the words to bring to you just as He does on Sunday when I preach. Seek Him out while there is still time.

Love is the message


How could love be the message of the Bible? With all of the killings and the wars that are fought in its pages, how could the Bible be considered a book based upon love? We will see that very soon.

Love is the message which shines through every book in the Bible. Yet, some people can’t or won’t see it because of the words in the message. God loves each one of us and the people around us, regardless of their race or religion. Of course in the Old Testament, He told the Israelites to purge the Promised land of their enemies, why? Because God knew that if they were left in the land, soon they would become a stumbling block to Israel as a whole. The people would inter-marry with them and begin to worship their gods and their ways and pretty soon, Israel would be just like them. They would no longer be God’s chosen people because they had mixed with the “world” around them to the point that you couldn’t tell them apart.

The love that God has for everyone is the kind that we don’t understand, agape love or unconditional love. It is hard for us to understand it because for us, there has always been a give and take approach to affection and love. But, that is not how God’s love works.

The Church that began with the disciples after Jesus went to Heaven started out with the love of God in their hearts and toward all of the believers. Not only that, but that love is turned outward toward the world itself because we are to take it to the furthest reaches of the world so that others who haven’t heard of Jesus can come to know Him. That is the expression of God’s love. We do not seek riches or power for ourselves, just the continuation of Jesus’ work and His Grace to all who will receive it.

Your witness to them, no matter who they are or where they live, can be expressed through your life or your words or even something that you do for them. It doesn’t have to be done because of your love for them, but because Jesus loved them first and we should too. Many people seem to look at this as loving others like we love each other, but the love that we must spread abroad to others is from God and not ourselves.

Could I love someone who has killed my children or my wife? No, not with my own strength or my love but through Jesus and the love that He has given to me in my heart, yes I can love them through Him. I can also forgive them for what they have done to me or my family through Him as well. It does sound as if I am crazy and to some people I may be, talking of forgiving someone for killing my family. Only through Jesus could I do this, not on my own.

Can anyone feel or express God’s love if they don’t know Him? Feel it, yes, express it..not a chance. God can love and does love everyone. He does not condone the sinful life that they lead apart from Him, but if they repent and turn to Him when they feel His Spirit touch their heart then He will forgive them and take them into His family. It really is just that simple.

Jesus died to atone for ALL of humanity’s sins. The only thing that is left for each of us to do is to believe in Jesus and that sacrifice which happened on the cross for us. Humble yourself to ask Him to come into your heart and change you into the person that you can be, then your life will be forever changed and you will be a new person. The thief on the cross believed in Jesus enough to ask Him to remember him and was saved, that was all that was necessary. Belief, heartfelt and true as a child.