There is so much pain…

Not just in Florida or in any of the other towns and cities where a terrorist has used a gun to kill people, but all over the world where people are persecuted for the faith no matter what it might be. Pain in hospitals where children who aren’t old enough to walk are trying to fight cancer of one type or another. There is much pain in any one of the war zones around the world because of the death and destruction caused for reasons which few can even recall today.


This is the question which so many parents and grandparents ask when their child is suffering from a disease that ultimately will end their life. Many of them are suffering from diseases which have had millions of dollars spent on research and yet there is still no effective treatment let alone a cure. Why? It seems that educators and scientists and doctors all believe that if we throw more money at the problem it will work out better in the end…but it hasn’t. In any of those areas, more money has not fixed the dropout rate or the disease survival rate significantly. I know that more children survive some childhood cancers now than they did thirty or more years ago, but what about the new cancers or those which have evolved as they speak about?

Did they change so much that even the treatments from years past don’t even work or are the drug companies just too greedy and they just raise the price of a drug and change its name? Exactly! Greed has driven this industry for far too long. Greed has driven our medical industry for too long as well.

Why am I bringing this up on my site? Because I have had to buy some medication and it was expensive. I have also talked with some friends who have medication which cost nearly $500 for one inhaler!

God did not intend for us to have to take these things in the first place and the companies are making so much money off of them! If we could go back to growing our own food and eat those vegetables exclusively then our need for medication would diminish. God loves us and did not create our world with GMO things to feed us or to plant in our gardens. When He made it, He said it was good and that means perfection!

Find a diet which follows the Bible’s recommendations. I am not talking about eating insects like John the Baptist, but eating wholesome REAL food, not man-made, modified food. This is the type of diet which will KEEP you healthy or possibly cure some of the problems that may be caused by those man-made “foods”. Seek God’s wisdom in your diet as well as in your life so that your eternity will be declared good in God’s eyes.


It seems that we can’t get through a year without a shooting at a school or some other venue. Actually, it hasn’t been a year, it has been more like six or eight months. Regardless of the amount of time between them, it is a very sad day with another school shooting today. I can’t make any sense of any of these. There is no pattern or reason for any of this violence and killing. So, what can be done? Can anything be done to stop this before it gets worse?

I’m not sure what can be done if anything. On this point, the only useful help can come from God. He is the only person Who can comfort a grieving parent or spouse. As far as the motivation for these things which are happening with far too much frequency….we are living very close to the end times predicted in the Bible. Satan and his demons and principalities are causing all kinds of problems in the world today.

I know that many people don’t want to believe that Satan is real or that demonic influence has anything to do with all of humanity’s problems but he is real and they do have a very large influence over our world today. How is this possible? Because there are so many people in the world who do not have a relationship with Jesus, that is the main problem in our world today. I know, there are wars and economic problems in our world, but many of those were also caused by a suggestion or some other prodding from a principality of Satan’s forces.

Some of those suggestions may have happened many years ago but they are becoming reality today. Just like some of the unfortunate racial persecution and enslavement in America, this was caused because some people took some part of God’s Word and twisted it to match their own philosophy. I don’t mean to say that the Bible was the reason for slavery, but parts of it were taken out of context and used in ways which God did not intend, and this was done by men, possibly being influenced by a spirit or principality of Satan.

We cannot discount young people as not being a threat to everyone, but could this be caught earlier? I don’t know. If the shooter posted his ideas and his philosophy toward being a shooter and some of the teens who knew him said that he liked to hurt animals. If someone is that disturbed and a tip is received about them, then it should be followed up on. We cannot keep ignoring the signs or the posts that some of them put up on social media.

Prayer is what the families need in Florida right now, not to be used as leverage for gun control because gun control is not the answer. Screening those who are disturbed or who show disturbing tendencies should be done, but this likely won’t be done either. Please, pray for these families and for our country and seek out Jesus as your Savior because you really don’t know which day will be your last.


Should you consider the alternative?

What?! The alternative to Jesus and being saved from your sins, that is what I am writing about this time. What is the alternative? Simply put..don’t change anything in your life. Keep doing what you do and living your life just the way that you always have. Don’t read the Bible, don’t go to church, don’t pray for help in any situation that you find yourself in. Why? Because the world around us says that we can take care of everything on our own with no help from some imaginary god.Yourplans&Gods

The problem is that Christians don’t believe in an imaginary god. Our God is real and is the Creator of everything. Then again, some of us do claim to worship our own version of God, like when you hear someone say: “The god that I worship wouldn’t let those children die”; “My god is not like the one which I hear preached in the church”. Exactly Who do you think God is? We cannot make Him in our image! He created us in His image and desires us to be more like Jesus in every way.

When someone says that their god is not like this or that I want to ask them if they claim to be a Christian. If they say that they are, then I would like to ask them where they got the notion that God can be different for them instead of being the unchanging God of the Bible? We cannot serve a different god and claim that “our god” is the God of the Bible because we are engaging in idolatry when we create a god like we want instead of worshiping the One true God in the Bible.

Because when you try to make God to be or to have some trait that suits you and your lifestyle, then you aren’t a Christian anymore. You are worshiping an idol. A god which you are comfortable with but also one which has no business being taught to others because your “god” is not God!

Life is confusing and stressful enough without adding a layer of ambiguous nonsense on top of our religion. God is and always has been and there is no other that He will share that distinction with. As it says in the Old Testament, I am a jealous God.

That is why God told the Israelites not to worship other gods. This part is not up for debate, yet people try to mold God into their own ideas of who and what He is or is supposed to be. The creature cannot make God in their likeness or according to their preferences. Our Creator is God the Father, Jesus the Son (the Living Word) and the Holy Spirit which goes about touching men’s hearts and convicting them of their sinfulness in order to bring them to full knowledge of Himself and to have faith in Him leading to salvation.

You can choose to believe this or not…it is up to you. But, I caution you on this. We are given a certain number of days to live, yet we do not know when our time here is up. Make sure that you do know the God of the Bible before your last breath. Make sure of your faith and salvation before this life ends regardless of how your life may be leading you, because when you do breathe that last breath your time is up and you will face God either in judgment or a welcoming embrace. Which would you rather be greeted with?

Differences between truth and ?

Pilate asked Jesus, “What is Veritas?” The word means truth, but he had the Truth standing in front of him at the time. Our world today defines truth as whatever you decide is your truth. No one wants to acknowledge the possibility of a Truth which can’t be questioned. But, the reality of truth is that God’s love is also an absolute truth as well.

In fact, truth and love could be classed as the same in the economy of God’s eternity! So which life would you truly enjoy? One that is based on God’s love and truth of salvation or one that is defined by your idea of truth? A life where mankind is the defining element of love and truth and their place in the world is flawed.

We try to define our world today by our individual ideas and “truths” which are only relevant to us as individuals. So, how can our world survive when there are millions or billions of truths which are conflicting with and against each other? Actually, our society can’t survive on individual truths which can’t possibly align with one another. We also have many different cultures within cities, let alone the cultures in a nation. With so many perceived differences between us like skin color and cultures and religious too, how can we get along?

Why can’t we get along in this world where people are connected through cell towers and the Internet? The connections between people don’t work well through the distance in between us, especially relational connections such as friends and family and loved ones. Even when we have phones capable of letting us talk face to face there is still distance and the connection just doesn’t make up for that.

Even when the letters were written and sent to us or to our family, it still doesn’t feel quite right. The problem today is that we are so used to distant relationships and texting and messages until when we are together, face to face, we don’t know what to say. It is easier to text than it is to actually talk…and that is sad. We can type in a browser or a message box many words to say to each other but when we are in the same room…talking is awkward. It is almost like we have forgotten how to have a real conversation face to face.

Technology in our world has made the world much smaller compared to the speed of the old style of mail or reading the newspaper. Although technology has done this in the past twenty-five years or so the world is the same, the people are the same, but we don’t actually SEE each other the way our parents or grandparents did. We don’t sit down at the table to eat with the family, we may sit together in a restaurant but we each have a phone screen lit up in our face. But…do you see people talking TO each other in that scenario or is it just one or two talking and the rest are texting others or maybe each other?

The TRUTH is that we are not made to live this way. Apart even when we are together, separate but living in the same house, nervous in a room with family and friends, does any of this sound familiar? Even Paul, who wrote most of the New Testament, said in many of his letters that he would rather be there in person. Personal contact between him and his children in the churches was more important to be spoken to face to face. Even he was apologetic about the way that he had to advise them.

Please, try to get to the truth of your relationships and be personal with your family and friends because life will be so much more enjoyable if you have relationships with them rather than the phone and the messages.

My neighbor

Years ago when the PBS show was on, “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood“, and it still may be on (my son is 18 now so we don’t watch much PBS anymore); it was familiar like a sweater that you had worn for many years. Do you wonder about who is your neighbor and how they should be your neighbor? In the culture that we have today, I don’t think many people think about this much at all. Even Christians who are supposed to be doing this seem to let it slide or just don’t think about it much.

GoodSamaritanOur revival at church is going on and last night we had a great sermon on Jesus’ parable about the good Samaritan. It touched a lot of hearts and I think opened some people’s eyes to the fact that we do fall short in our lives on a daily basis. Do Christians sin on a daily basis? Yes, we are human after all. Do we fail to be real, true neighbors to those in need around us on a daily or weekly basis? Unfortunately, yes we do. Granted, some of us do fulfill the function of being a neighbor at least to some extent, but do we try to do it very often?

Not likely.

We pick and choose who we will help and how much. We are selfish in our helping and that is not being a good neighbor. Consider this: if you knew of a family who lives close by that was struggling with bills because of illness or loss of a provider, would you pay their bills for them? Would you offer to do so? I don’t mean by putting yourself in debt, but if you are able financially to help, would you? Most would not. Which is a sad part of today’s Christians.

The early church that you read about in Acts showed a group of believers who sold much of what they had, if not all, and gave to each other as the need arose. Were they being neighbors? I think so. We hear the Biblical wisdom which states that “the love of money is the root of all evil” and it is true. But, that is when you put money in the place of God, not when you use your wealth to help others. So, why don’t we do that?

Is it so hard to see someone struggling because of hardship of one kind or another and then not do anything to help? “That’s not my problem” or “I don’t want to get involved”; those are the same attitudes which the priest and the Levite showed in the parable which Jesus told. They were too important or too busy to help that man, but the Samaritan wasn’t. He stopped and bound the man’s wounds and carried him to an inn. Then gave the innkeeper two denarii to take care of him and promised to pay more if it took more than that.

So, in this instance which of the three men who came by was the man’s neighbor? The Samaritan. Even though they were hated by the Jews, the Samaritan did everything he could do and more for this man that he didn’t even know. Why can’t we do this? A better question would be “Why don’t we do this today?

I think it has something to do with our American independent spirit which most of us grew up hearing about in movies and TV. Be yourself, pull your own weight, be independent and don’t ask for help, if you are honest with yourself you know as well as I do that children hearing those things and seeing them in movies and TV will grow up to be that way. Independence is good but each person living for themselves and only themselves makes for a very different country and a much different society. But, that is what the world is heading toward.

Pray about this in your life and talk about it at church because our world NEEDS Christians who will be neighbors and friends, they just don’t know it yet.

Today’s sermon for all

Romans 15 & 16

Taking up where we left off last week, at Romans 15: 17 and following through chapter sixteen, Paul is writing his message to those in the Roman church but he is also writing to us as well. The Roman church was soon to undergo some terrible persecution as were many Christians in the Roman empire. Paul’s words of encouragement and hope helped those who were weak or new in their faith to bear up under the horrible ways which Emperor Nero would kill those who would not worship him.

17 I have therefore whereof I may glory through Jesus Christ in those things which pertain to God. 18 For I will not dare to speak of any of those things which Christ hath not wrought by me, to make the Gentiles obedient, by word and deed, 19 Through mighty signs and wonders, by the power of the Spirit of God; so that from Jerusalem, and round about unto Illyricum, I have fully preached the gospel of Christ. 20 Yea, so have I strived to preach the gospel, not where Christ was named, lest I should build upon another man’s foundation:

21 But as it is written, To whom he was not spoken of, they shall see: and they that have not heard shall understand.

22 For which cause also I have been much hindered from coming to you.

Paul’s Plan to Visit Spain and Rome
(1 Corinthians 16:5-9)

23 But now having no more place in these parts, and having a great desire these many years to come unto you; 24 Whensoever I take my journey into Spain, I will come to you: for I trust to see you in my journey, and to be brought on my way thitherward by you, if first I be somewhat filled with your company. 25 But now I go unto Jerusalem to minister unto the saints. 26 For it hath pleased them of Macedonia and Achaia to make a certain contribution for the poor saints which are at Jerusalem. 27 It hath pleased them verily; and their debtors they are. For if the Gentiles have been made partakers of their spiritual things, their duty is also to minister unto them in carnal things. 28 When therefore I have performed this, and have sealed to them this fruit, I will come by you into Spain. 29 And I am sure that, when I come unto you, I shall come in the fulness of the blessing of the gospel of Christ.

30 Now I beseech you, brethren, for the Lord Jesus Christ’s sake, and for the love of the Spirit, that ye strive together with me in your prayers to God for me; 31 That I may be delivered from them that do not believe in Judaea; and that my service which I have for Jerusalem may be accepted of the saints; 32 That I may come unto you with joy by the will of God, and may with you be refreshed. 33 Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.

Paul is writing here as an evangelist with a purpose and it was Jesus Who gave him that purpose. The same Savior who saved us all, if we will only believe, saved the chief persecutor of “the Way” as it was called to begin with. Jesus uses some of the most unlikely ministers at times, God has used a donkey in the past to bring a word to a stubborn prophet as well, so nothing is impossible for God. Even when we try to limit Him with our own ideas about Him in this life, at some point God will show you Who He is and what He can do, if that is what it takes to get your attention.

Chapter 16 is the end of Romans as a book, but what a book it is. Written by a persecutor turned evangelist and one which wrote more than half of the New Testament which we all have today, most of it written from a prison cell.

In this final chapter of the book of Romans, Paul is giving credit to all of those in Christ who have helped him is his ministry. He salutes them with words like a brother or a proud father might, and in a way he is. Many of his helpers come from people or house-churches which  his preaching had started, or were members of those small congregations.

Paul ends his epistle with words of encouragement and love brought out in his soul by Christ:

Beginning with verse 17 we see this:

Avoid Divisions
17 Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them. 18 For they that are such serve not our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly; and by good words and fair speeches deceive the hearts of the simple. 19 For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil. 20 And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Amen.

Greetings from Paul’s Companions
21 Timotheus my workfellow, and Lucius, and Jason, and Sosipater, my kinsmen, salute you.

22 I Tertius, who wrote this epistle, salute you in the Lord.

23 Gaius mine host, and of the whole church, saluteth you. Erastus the chamberlain of the city saluteth you, and Quartus a brother. 24 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.

(Romans 11:33-36; Jude 1:24-25)

25 Now to him that is of power to stablish you according to my gospel, and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery, which was kept secret since the world began, 26 But now is made manifest, and by the scriptures of the prophets, according to the commandment of the everlasting God, made known to all nations for the obedience of faith: 27 To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. {Written to the Romans from Corinthus, and sent by Phebe servant of the church at Cenchrea.

So, you see in the ending of this epistle that Paul had many helpers who wrote for him when his hands could not. They carried the epistle to the churches which he could not go to in person due to chains or other restraints laid upon him. God used all of those around Paul who had been converted by his preaching very likely, God used them to further His Kingdom and these letters are still being used in the 21st century to bring others to Him. We are the fruit of much of Paul’s labors in Christ, the church today would not be what it is without God’s choosing of Paul to be His voice to the gentiles…us.

We are supposed to carry on this work in our lives, whether we are preaching to a congregation or to our families and friends with our life in Christ and the labor which we do in this life just by living out the ways taught in the Bible. This is the way of life, which so many early Christians who died for their faith, lived in front of those around them. It is also the life which we are called to live in Christ Jesus. Not living as if tomorrow is just a day, but that it may be the day that Jesus calls us home!

God uses even those of us who are weak in our faith, or believe ourselves to be, to carry out His purposes in our lives for Him and His Kingdom, not for our own gain in this life. We are to trade our life in Christ for bringing other lives into the Kingdom of God. How?

By living our Christian life as a reflection of Jesus in the power of the Holy Spirit one day at a time. People will notice, and whether they ask of you or not, if your walk with Christ is sincere then they will be drawn toward Him. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but when the Spirit touches their heart, they will because your witness for Christ doesn’t have to be in the sanctuary of a big church, but the sanctuary of life itself. Living our salvation and our walk with Jesus out one day at a time and one step at a time.

Which in truth is all that we can do.

What is the Bible good for?

2 Timothy 3:16-17: All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:

This is the belief of Jewish scholars today and it was at the time that Paul wrote this letter to Timothy. God inspired the different writers to put down in written word His instructions for us. That is where the Scriptures came from, specifically from the Holy Spirit of God who inspired men to write the words down.

What is the Bible and the Scriptures contained within it good for? Specifically it is for doctrine, for reproof and correction, for instruction in righteousness because without it and the knowledge that is contained in it we would know nothing of God! We would also know nothing of Jesus and the Gospel of His life and teachings.

heaven-or-hell-eternal-destinyWhy study the Bible? Because..if you intend to be an adopted child of God through Jesus, then you must get to know Him and the Father. I mean, how else could you know how to do their will in your life or even get to know what that will might be? We are each given a purpose for our life by God when He formed each of us in the womb. The only way that we can find that purpose is to get to know Him through His Word and find our purpose there.

Life can be fulfilling for each of us through our work on this Earth, but it will be much more so if we are working for our treasure in Heaven where we will spend eternity! The only way that we can do that is by learning God’s will for our lives and it really is pretty simple actually. Live your life the way Jesus did, in your business and in your everyday life so that others will see more of Him through you, reflected by your life and not just your ideas and opinions.

Seek His will in the Word for your life and for your reward in eternity because our time is growing shorter by the day. Read Revelation and see the events leading up to the time of Tribulation and you will see that the things happening today are the rumors and the birth pains of Creation leading up to the end times. Don’t wait until it is too late! Don’t put it off because you don’t know if you have tomorrow or not! None of us knows for sure if we will wake in the morning or if we will open our eyes in eternity, whatever that may be for you or me.

Which will you choose?

We have many choices in life. What clothes to wear to school? Which shoes to put on today? What will you or I eat for lunch today? Will I attend college or go to a trade school? All of these choices are part of life in many countries today, but in many others people, especially children, don’t have as many options. In some areas of America, children go hungry at night..sometimes for days at a time. Although most of the world wouldn’t believe that, it is true and it is a very sad fact.

Why do I call it a sad fact? Because for some of those children, maybe more than most people realize, the reason they are without food is because their parents are addicted to drugs. It may be because of an injury or some other problem which gets them addicted, but once they are, they don’t care about much else except staying pain-free and that usually involves getting high.

I don’t intend to sound all high and holy or any of that. I have some severe pain and I have been given some opiates for that pain…I didn’t like the way they made me feel. The point of this post isn’t really to point a finger at anyone, in fact, the situation which many find themselves in, seems to be almost normal today.

We search for a way to feel good about the life that we live. We search for a way to have more stuff and make more money. Some even preach that God owes us and that He should supply us with what we want in this life. That is not how God’s laws work! He is our Creator after all, He isn’t required to give us anything above our actual needs!

heaven-or-hell-eternal-destinyGod loves you beyond any measure that we can understand and the grace that He extends to each of us in the offer of eternity is beyond any monetary amount which can be gained in this life! Our pitiful attempts at being immortal, whether with fame or cryogenic preservation, will likely be futile. Consider that the only reason which our country’s founding fathers are remembered is because of their place in history, nothing more.

Which of us will be remembered beyond our obituary? Our family may remember us for a few days or weeks, but very few others will, even if we considered them our friends. So, which direction on the path will you choose? Will you choose to follow Jesus into Heaven and eternity or will you decide that you know best how to live your life and that your version of being dead with no eternity is the way to go?

The problem with that is this: there is an eternity in which to live! Your choice determines whether you live in Heaven with God or in hell without Him. The Bible describes the eternity without God very well and it isn’t a place which our eternal body was destined for at all! Satan only wants those who choose not to believe in Jesus to make that choice because he knows that it hurts God and he is determined to do that as much as possible. Satan doesn’t care about you or your eternity but he will lie to you about it in order to get you to go there.

Don’t make that choice which leads you into hell. Believe in Jesus as your Savior and follow Him, then your eternity will be with Him.

What does God do for you?

ProsperityPreachingIt seems that for many in the ministry and in churches, God is expected to provide all of our wants in some form or fashion. That is not taught in the Bible though. In many pulpits it seems that people hear about how God wants us to be prosperous (well off), but that is not the meaning of scripture at all, in particular the scriptures which speak of what God provides for us.

Here is one which Jesus taught about: Matthew 6:25-34Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

God provides all of our needs in any area of our life, particularly when we depend upon Him for those needs and don’t try to do everything ourselves. By getting ahead of our Shepherd, we can get ourselves into a lot of trouble, which God will allow us to do until we wise up and realize that we put the motor on the front of the boat when it should’ve been God doing the driving! Yes, we have front-wheel driving cars and we have electric trolling motors for boats, but when God is in control it doesn’t matter where the force comes from…we will get where we are going. As long as we let Him drive!

God also gives us our talents in order to make a living in this world. Finding them and using them in the way that gives glory to Him in the process makes our lives so much easier than doing things in our strength and in our way! Seek Him out in all things, especially in your vocation, because when He shows you what you were made to do then you will be satisfied with it and with your life!

It doesn’t take a “self-help” book or coach to tell you how to live your life! The Bible is the best book for that in all of the world! Why? Because, if you have read any of those books and then read through the book of Proverbs or Psalms, you will find most of the wisdom that you paid for in the self-help book is already contained in the Bible!

I mean, come on, where do you think all of the wisdom came from? God gave it to us, most of it is written in our DNA, which is why it doesn’t sound strange when we read the Bible! Especially when we read it with an open mind and with prayer and faith! Without these three ingredients, the Bible is just a historical book with a few wisdom chapters contained within!!

God inspired men to write it by the inspiration of His Spirit. It is our guide-book even though it contains much of the history of the Israelite nation. The growing pains which they went through in becoming that nation reflects all of humanity’s weaknesses and failures. It also shows our hopes and dreams through their hopes and dreams. As long as your dreams don’t get ahead of your hopes and your finances, then you will be taken care of in all things by your Creator and Savior! Depend upon Him and His provision for you and all of life will go the way that He deems necessary!

If you can’t live that way, then I feel pity for your life and its outcome.

Accidental but on purpose

Many of the things which happen in our lives seem to fit this description. We think of them as accidents but later realize that God had a purpose in it all along. Depending upon the outcome of the “accident”, it could be good or bad in your life or your vocation. All of which is under God’s control whether it feels that way at the time or not. Like, Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well. He knew that she was going to be there before His disciples went into town. He also knew that she was in spiritual need of what He could tell her and reveal to her.

WomanbytheWellDid He really have to leave Judea in order to get to Galilee? Kinda. According to some maps I have looked at, yes He did have to get out of Judea to get to Galilee, but He didn’t have to go through Samaria. Many people went the long, long way around to get there. But Jesus had a mission and a purpose for what He did.

Why do I bring this up? Because, it is something which all of us need to do. Some of us may do this on a daily basis, some may only try to do it when we feel the need for it. God gives each of us a purpose when we become His children. Sometimes that purpose is our life’s work, sometimes that purpose is part of our daily lives. In either case, we should be seeking His Spirit and His guidance in all of these things that we do. Especially when it comes to posting something on Facebook or even on a blog.

Why? Because something posted online, just as something that is said, can’t be undone. You can’t really take it back entirely. It may have been copied by someone and posted somewhere else, but it may still be out there and it can cause more hurt if it was something that should’ve been between you and God and nobody else! Talk to Him about it, pray about it, regardless of how hurt you may feel DON’T post it to a public forum like Twitter or Facebook.

I have been learning this lesson for many days and I am still learning it, trying to get it completely embedded into my mind so that my brain won’t forget it…ever! The only thing which I can ask of anyone who knows what this is about is forgiveness and to give you my utmost and most humble apology.