Category: Be useful to God

Christ is the answer!


You may ask “To what question is He the answer?”; He is the answer to every question! He is the Good Shepherd, the Alpha and Omega, the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of the Passover and the Pearl of great price! Jesus is the Treasure of which we are all seeking to have and never lose!

He was spoken of in Genesis and He is alluded to in every book of the Bible, both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament. He is our Savior and our Rock which gives Living water for our salvation and our regeneration into eternity. Jesus Christ is our Redeemer and our Strength in troubled times.

JesusistheAnswer

Jesus is the One Who gave His life to pay for all of our sins. Not just for a few people but for every person on Earth and yet there are those who will not accept Him because they enjoy their life the way it is. They don’t want to change and they don’t want Him to change them so they don’t or won’t accept His offer of salvation even when they feel convicted of their sins and know that they need Him!

God is patient and He knows who will and who will not accept the offer of salvation, but that doesn’t stop Him from making the offer to those who will notice it. Whether you accept His offer or not is entirely up to you. You are the only one who decides where you spend eternity believe it or not! God doesn’t send you there but that is your destination if you don’t repent of your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

It is likely that many who read this have never heard that before, but it is the truth. I have heard that some say that God doesn’t love everybody but He does! He would’ve sent Jesus to die on the cross even if there was only ONE person to save, but Jesus paid the price of everyone’s sins all the way back to Adam! Does God love each of us? YES!! He is like most parents who love their children, He doesn’t like some of our choices in this life but that doesn’t mean that He doesn’t love you more than you can imagine.

Is being a Christian easy or fun? Yes and no. It is easy to believe in Jesus for your salvation and if you truly believe in Him and not just the idea of Him then you will be changed into the person that God knows you can be. Is it fun? Not in the same way you would enjoy life without Jesus! You can’t or shouldn’t want to go to bars and pick up women and get drunk. You will be changed from the inside out into a new person, a new creation is one way that scripture describes it.

Give Jesus a chance to change your heart and soul into the person that God wants you to be for His Kingdom and glory. Don’t put it off because you may not get another chance to give your heart to Jesus and there are no second chances when you appear before Him after your life is over.

Consider…love


There is so much hate and discord in the world today, why are we seeing all of these terrible problems all around us? In my opinion, it is because we haven’t tried to love people more. I don’t mean physical love or some kind of superficial love. The kind of love that I am speaking of is God’s kind of love.

“Well, now how do we do that?” you might say. The same way that Jesus did. If He can do it and His disciples did it then why can’t we do it today? If you truly are a Christian and you’ve been changed by His Spirit then you should be able to love someone in the same way that Jesus loved them. Not by looking at their skin color or how beautiful or handsome they are…but by seeing them the way that God looks at them. By seeing the value of their souls to God!

Jesus said if a man gained the whole world but loses his soul, what good would it do that man? In this, Jesus was speaking of the wealth of the whole world! I am not sure how much that could be but I know it would be in the trillions of dollars! That is still less than the value of your soul to God.

AngelsRejoiceGod created the entire universe and your soul, your salvation is worth more to Him than all of the wealth of the entire world or even the world itself! Imagine what the souls of every person on Earth are worth to Him. The blood of His Son, Jesus (Yeshua). That is what every person on Earth is worth. When you accept the atonement which Jesus’ death provided for your sins and for my sins, you have to agree that we are not worthy of His sacrifice. But He considered us worthy, which is why He did what He did for each of us.

It is not a great stretch to look at the Scriptures and realize that God has loved humanity since He created Adam and Eve. Even though they rebelled against His command and ate from a forbidden tree, He still loved them. He could look down through time and see you and me and each person who will choose to follow Him and believe in Jesus. He could also see those who will choose not to believe, but that doesn’t mean that He loved them less than anyone else.

God’s love for us is not dependent upon what we do or what we say or even if we believe in Jesus or not. God IS Love, so He expresses His love for all of us in that Jesus died for all of mankind’s sins. Whether we choose to follow Him and give our lives to Him is still our choice but I think when you realize everything that is provided for you in this life, then you will make that decision. I just pray that it will be a decision to follow Jesus and give your life to Him.

Father’s Day


Before any of us who are fathers became fathers, God had a plan for us. Being in a relationship with our wives, we were and are supposed to be the religious leader of our household. We are to be the example of being the leader in our own home. Some even go so far as to call us “kings and priests”, although that might get each of us in trouble if we tried to actually live that way at home.

God knows each of us and our strengths and our weaknesses which is why we have our helpers, our wives, to take over in those areas where we may fall short. Which is what God designed marriage for, it is supposed to be a partnership in which each gives one hundred percent to whatever the goal may be. It isn’t a 50/50 agreement.

Fathers in Scripture had a tremendous responsibility. They were the priests of their household, particularly in Job’s case but also in the majority of households in Jewish society. So why don’t Christians live this way and do these same idealistic things which need to be done?

In today’s society even being a Christian, whether you are male or female, is frowned upon. So being a father who is bringing his children up in a Christian home and training them to look to God’s wisdom is also looked down on as well. His children may even be bullied or endure some other form of persecution because of it. Why is this? I think it is because there are too few fathers who actually teach their children about God’s wisdom from the Bible.

In Joshua 24:15 he told the Israelites what they should do and what he and his house would do:

15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

In Proverbs 3:11-12, Solomon wrote these words: 11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, 12 because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.

We as fathers have a responsibility to teach our children to be Christian men and women. This can be done as a family or just by the father but it should be a family night study where the father leads the family in this. This is not my idea, it is in God’s Word that men are supposed to do and be the religious leader of their household.

If you are a Christian and you neglect to do this then the consequences of your inaction will fall on your children. If you don’t model and reflect Jesus in their eyes, then you are failing them in many ways. Don’t be the father who has not shown Jesus to his family in whatever life situation you may find yourself in.

God expects each of us, as fathers, to do these things which He outlined in His Word. But, many of us today don’t read the Bible enough to know what God expects of us. I encourage you to get started reading His Word and learn what your responsibility to God and to your family really is. While it is true that our responsibility is to be fathers and husbands it is also true that we are to be the priests of our family, the religious leaders in our homes.

God expects us to do this and yet many don’t know what they are supposed to do because, even as Christians, we only read our Bibles or listen to sermons when we are at a church service. This is not the way to follow and know Jesus. Yes, the Bible was written a long time ago but when you study it…God’s Word reads you and your heart as well. His Word gives each of us different wisdom when we read it prayerfully and earnestly. Not as a book but as The Book, our guide to a Life with Jesus.

It is our duty as men and fathers and parents to lead our family by our example and if that example is one based on God’s Word then our future and that of our children and their children will be assured in Christ. Don’t neglect your calling as a father and a husband because we are called by God when we are granted children to raise and they become what they have seen in our lives. If they don’t, then we have failed them and failed in our calling as well.

Be the leader and the father that God intended for you to be, even if it is hard to do, seek out His Wisdom for your life and the advice which you need in this life so that you can lead your family into the next Life in eternity.

 

Serving as Jesus did


Have you ever thought of serving the Lord for your lifetime? We are all called in one way or another when we hear or feel the call on our lives and in our hearts. We are also given talents and abilities which may not translate into much for this world, but they mean a lot in God’s Kingdom. Each word that you use in your life as a Christian has an effect on someone, particularly if it is your children or grandchildren. You may not see the end result of your influence in this life, but God will use your words in ways that you may not imagine right now.

God cares for His Creation, all of it! Each person who has been born and those who are yet to be born into this world, God loves them with a love that only He knows the depth of! We experience only a small taste of it when we have a family. Our children experience a taste of His love through us as we raise and love them and teach them about life, to the best of our ability. Can we learn to be His servants, His disciples while we carry on our lives here? Yes, but we must determine to do it and not just “try” to be better or “try” to learn how it is done!

So, how do we learn to know Jesus and how to be His disciple in this life? Actually, it is simple—by reading the Bible and learning from Him directly! Paul’s letter to the Philippians exhorts us to be like Jesus in all that we say and do in our life with Him. Read here:

Philippians 2:1-11

Being One in Christ

1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, 2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. 3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. 4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

The Attitude of Christ
(Isaiah 52:13-15)

5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus: 6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: 7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: 8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. 9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: 10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; 11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

God approved of and ordains each of us to be His representative while we are in this life, this tabernacle as Peter put it. Yet, we are not supposed to sit in our home and read the Bible and pray and attend church! We are supposed to do something with our life in Jesus Christ! Tell others about His work in your life. Tell them about His love which called to your heart and caused you to realize that our life is not all that there is. Your life in Christ Jesus is just the beginning! Living the rest of your life to be the best reflection of Jesus that you can be with His Spirit inside giving you the strength to resist your old temptations and walk in a newness of His Life and His calling on your life until He comes to take the church to Heaven one day!

Our life without Him or the regeneration of our hearts is a cold and lonely place even if you have family and loving people around you. Because, without His love flowing in your heart and then giving it away to the people around you, the “love” that you have before Jesus is a poor imitation of the love that you have as His child. Our hearts don’t know how to truly love until we accept His Love for us because He is love personified!

Do you bear fruit for Him?


John 15:1-8

Jesus the True Vine

1 I am the true vine, and my Father is the husbandman. 2 Every branch in me that beareth not fruit he taketh away: and every branch that beareth fruit, he purgeth it, that it may bring forth more fruit. 3 Now ye are clean through the word which I have spoken unto you. 4Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear the fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me. 5I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. 6If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. 7If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. 8Herein is my Father glorified, that ye bear much fruit; so shall ye be my disciples.

VineandBranchesJesus taught this lesson to His disciples during the hours just before His arrest and the mock trial that He was subjected to before being condemned to the cross. There is more to His teaching on this but this began His discourse on being a disciple which produces fruit for God’s Kingdom. Have you considered what you should do in light of the fact that as a Christian, you are a disciple as well?

We are called to be in God’s family to be disciples as well as His voice while we live in this life. Yet, many Christians don’t fulfill their duty to Him in this way. We are content with knowing that we have our salvation and that we will be accepted into Heaven one day. But, God intended for us to have and do so much more than that. His Word shows us that the disciples went out from Jerusalem and spread His gospel and we should do no less.

We have much more available to us and for us to use as platforms and possible routes to spread Jesus’ message into the world than they had. God will use your talent or He will give you the talent and the words to say to spread His message to those who need it so badly in the world today. I don’t have the ability to go on missions overseas, but this forum can get to anyone who has access to the Internet. Unfortunately, there are many who don’t have access to it, which is where actual visits are required if possible.

Some places are in areas where it is not advisable to visit with a Christian message or to bring it to those living there. It is dangerous for Christians to go, as Jesus asked us to do, into many countries in the world today. Prayer for those people and places which are not accepting of Christian ideals and its message. Do what you can with what you have and ask God to bless the outcome of your efforts.

Changing times


We are living during a time which is changing at a rapid pace. Almost on a daily basis something or someone does something which is totally out of the ordinary. A bridge collapses or some bombs are set off in a city which hasn’t had any terror attacks and its on American soil too! Of course, the media isn’t calling the bombings “terror” attacks, just random acts of violent behavior which are unrelated.

Maybe, but I’ve never heard of anyone doing this in the last thirty years or so just as a “random” act and not just one but three! Yes, life is changing here and it isn’t exactly better than it was before. We do have a President who is trying to help our country instead of running it into the toilet, but it seems that there are so many people in America who would rather rip it apart at the seams…at least there are more of them than we used to hear about!

Why is all of this happening? I believe that it is because of how close the world is to the time foretold in the book of Revelation in the Bible. Of course, there are some people who don’t believe that the Bible is God’s Word. Most of them don’t think it is true either. So, what is the church, the people who DO believe in God and His Son, supposed to do while the world ignores God?

We are supposed to be the bringers of the word, the Truth of God’s Word to all of the people who haven’t heard it or those who didn’t believe it in the first place. Tell the people about your Savior and what He has done and what He will do for them too! Because of God’s love for them,  and for the entire world! He is our Creator and we are His creation! It doesn’t matter where you live or what you do with your life if you know Jesus as your Savior then you are a messenger and you need to take it seriously!

Believers are supposed to be messengers for Jesus in our world today, just like His apostles were at the beginning of the church age. Will there be some who refuse to hear or maybe get angry with you for telling them about Jesus? Yes, most likely. But, if you can get them to listen to your story, what Jesus saved you from becoming, then even they might listen..even if only for a few minutes. God’s Holy Spirit will do the rest. If their heart is touched by something that you said or maybe what you were saved from, then He can get them to think about it. “If God cares for the little guy, the one that wasn’t popular in school or the most handsome, then maybe He could care about me too!”.

God has used many unlikely ways of getting people’s attention in the past and He will continue to do so until the very last person is saved. It isn’t a hard thing to believe but if your heart has been hardened by school or science then that may make it difficult, but anything is possible with God. I mean, look around you at the universe! God did all of that with His Words, and it was made from nothing more than the thoughts of God! Just think what He could do with you or me?

 

What is necessary today?


As Christians, we are told all kinds of laws and petitions and such that we should follow and adhere to in our walk with Jesus..but are they necessary? In the church, as it was beginning in the first century, the people were selling much or almost all of what they had and used it to support the church and its people. Those who were members of that early church who had much sold it and gave to those who had little so that all were blessed.

Concerning tithes, they were giving far above the ten percent which Abraham gave in the Old Testament. The reason for their generosity was based not on numbers but upon the grace which they, and us, have received from God through Jesus. There is no way that any of us could possibly pay back what the grace from God is worth and frankly, we shouldn’t try to. Not even the richest person in the world has enough to cover that debt.

Yet, Jesus paid for all of our sins in His death on the cross and His resurrection after three days. There is no accounting which could possibly figure the amount which all of humanity owes Him. The only way to even begin to pay it forward in a way is to give your life to Jesus and follow Him. Doing His work while you have the time and the ability in this life. Your lifetime of service won’t be enough to pay Him back but it is the least that you…no, it is the least that all of us who are Christians can do and should!

ARealDaddyIn America today, we have a man problem. There aren’t many of them around. Being born a male is something that you cannot choose or change, regardless of what the doctors tell you. Being a man…a father…or a daddy is something that you become, but you have to choose to BE one of them. Being a man is the same as being a Daddy to your kids, any male means that you can father many children if that is what you feel is the thing to do. But…being a man and a Daddy takes special care and preparation in your childhood and your teenage years. There is no manual for us to read, it is an on the job learning or apprenticeship which makes you a man and a Daddy.

The Bible is our instruction manual which gives us all of the wisdom and knowledge about being men and being a Daddy. You can’t get that knowledge from your mom or your grandmother, you can only learn it from your Dad or maybe your grandfather. I had a wonderful grandfather. His dad died when he was a young boy, so he did the best he could in raising my mother and he helped to raise me as well. I didn’t agree with his “old-fashioned” ideas when I was growing up, but I suppose I wouldn’t have agreed with my Dad either if he had been around.

So…what is necessary today in America and around the world? Men who will teach their children the right way to live, by God’s Word and by the wisdom contained in it. There are no self-help books out there that are better or more useful than the Bible and that’s a fact. If you have trouble understanding it, ask God to show you what the meaning of His Word. Be a Christian and give your heart and your life to Jesus so that you can be an example which bears even a slight resemblance to Jesus so that your children, boys or girls, can have something to aspire toward in their life.

Don’t give up on life just because you aren’t a millionaire if you are a child of God through the grace of Jesus Christ our Savior you are rich. It may not be the riches which the world recognizes, but it will give your life and the lives of your family a much stronger foundation on which to live your life until Jesus returns.

 

God’s Timing


Yourplans&GodsHave you ever wondered “When will God get around to answering my prayers?” or “When will God give me those things which I have been begging Him for?”

God does hear our requests and if our request is part of His will for our lives, then He will give us what we asked for. But…if we have asked for something which is selfish or outside of His will, then the answer is likely a “No!” There is always a third option though. If we ask for something like money or fame or a big promotion at work, something which has a lot of pride and “me” in it, God will answer our prayer with something like “maybe” or “later”.

You see, we need to get the “we” and the “me” out of the way before God can answer with a resounding- “YES!!”. In other words, we have to get out of God’s way before He can accomplish His purposes in our life. We have to learn that pride is the root of all sin in the world and it is also the sin which is the hardest to overcome and it can’t be done without submission to His Spirit and allowing Him to lead us down the path which He wants us to follow. We have a problem with His authority over our lives. Because we are human.

In many ways, we have always had problems with rules and authority and this proof is in the Bible right from the beginning. God’s timing of our blessings or gifts to us usually doesn’t follow our obedience or the amount of money that we give in tithes. God knows exactly what He should give us and what we can handle far better than we do. Begging for years and then trying to do it our own way doesn’t work. That disaster can be seen where Abram and Sarai tried to help God by using her slave to give him a son. The family feud is still going on in the Middle East.

When we try to help God in a way that He has not told us to do, we are just getting in the way. Will we find out about the consequences of our actions? Yes and sometimes much sooner than we expect to. Learning to wait upon God and His timing is one of the hardest parts of being a Christian. We, meaning most of us, have grown up in a culture which can barely wait for instant coffee or microwave popcorn. So how can we wait on God’s provision or His answer to our prayers if it doesn’t come in the instant that we ask for it? Most of us can’t.

So is it possible for us to learn how to do this? Yes, it is but it is a hard lesson for most people today. 

Why do I say this? Because very few people are patient enough to wait for God’s timing. His timing just doesn’t fit our schedule and we have to learn a hard lesson from Him in order to learn this. My advice to people who want to learn this lesson is never ask God for patience!!

If you do…you will learn patience but you will not like the lesson. Because it will take much longer for the learning to happen while He is teaching you. Remember Abram in Genesis? He was almost one hundred when his son, Isaac, was born. He had asked God for a son over twenty years before he got the answer. God also changed his name and Sarai’s name to Abraham and Sarah, so God has plans which He doesn’t always give us the details to.

Be sure of your plans and your pride and make sure of your relationship with your Savior and your Lord. God loves all of us because He sent His Son to pay the penalty for our sins even before we were born! He knows the plans and the rewards which He has in store for us as well, so make sure of your steps in following Him daily.

The Be-attitude


Do you have this kind of outlook on life with Jesus? Be His in humility and love, not wanting prideful outcomes in your prayers. Living by the words of Jesus which He spoke on the Mount of olives (or as it is so often called, the sermon on the mount) is the beginning of your walk with Him. Here are some of the statements He made that day:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure of heart,
for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 5:3-10

Jesus was not saying that we should be doormats or act like little mice. He was telling His audience then and now that we should be more like Him. Meekness is submission to control, not weakness. This is the same spirit which a horse has when trained to follow the direction of its rider because even a child can direct a strong horse with a bridle if the horse is trained right.

Jesus wasn’t telling His listeners that they should be happy to be persecuted but to learn to live in a state of dependence on Him for strength every day. All of the statements which He preached on the Mount of Olives were meant to show how to live daily in contact and dependence upon Him. It is a blueprint for your walk with Jesus.

Why is that so important today?

Because we are close to a time in the history of the world where things are coming to an end. I am not saying that the world will end in five or ten years but when the church is called home the world which is left will be on a short journey toward judgment by God. It may be another ten years or more before that happens, no one knows the day or the hour except God. But when it does happen it will plunge the world into chaos and the life of those who are still here will become far more difficult than anything the world has experienced in recorded history.

Why am I writing this today? Because of the number of people who don’t know Jesus. He is the only way to eternity or rather an eternity that you would want to live in. If you don’t want to know Him, that is fine but don’t complain when you are turned toward the lake of fire to spend eternity. God has provided a way to know Him more deeply and securely through Jesus because He paid your debt of sin in full at the cross. All you have to do to receive your gift of forgiveness is to accept Jesus as your Savior and believe in Him.

No amount of good deeds or money will change your destination or the outcome of your death. Believing in Jesus and accepting Him as your Savior will make an eternal change in your life today and into God’s Kingdom. Don’t walk away from Him or His call on your life! If you have felt Him calling to you, then answer the door of your heart and let Him in. Your life will never be the same again.

Cold as ice


I think that this winter we can all identify with the cold outside whether we would like it or not. It has been cold this winter and it isn’t over yet. So, how does this phrase “cold as ice” have anything to do with following Jesus? Well, if you have a few minutes to read and ponder this I will try to tell you.

GodcantakecareofyouThe global climate changed, past tense, after the Flood and it was very cold in some places and warmer in others than it had been previously. For the record, I don’t believe in the so-called global warming that you hear about in reference to almost any climatic change these days. Earth has always had its cold spells and warmer spells in the past and will likely keep on doing that for many years to come.

The reference which I am making today to “cold as ice” is the way which many people turn away from the love and peace offered to them through Jesus. It is a gift which you can’t afford and there is no price which you can pay to buy it, it is actually free to each person IF…they will only believe that Jesus did this for them and accept it. But, many people in our world want to find their own pathway to Heaven, one which they can travel when they want to and take a detour off of the path when they feel like it.

Living a Christian life with Jesus as your Savior is not an on again/off again affair. It is not a take it or leave it idea or decision, it is a life choice. Not a lifestyle, but a choice just as most other things in life are which have a true and lasting effect on your everyday life. The problem is that people in our world today are cold toward God’s Word and His Son. They don’t want to believe that He is the Savior that they have been searching for during their lifetime.

Most want their salvation to be a 50/50 partnership where they do so much and God picks up the rest of the tab for their salvation. But, just as in marriage, this is not a partnership where it is split down the middle. God and Jesus paid the WHOLE price for you and for every person ever created and the only thing that you can bring to the table is a heart and soul which knows that it NEEDS Jesus! Whenever you get to that point, the Holy Spirit usually lets you know, you only have to ask for Him to come in and save you from yourself, your sins and the consequences of them.

There are no amount of “good works” that you can perform which will make your salvation more real or lasting because Jesus did everything needed on the cross. We can’t add anything to His work any more than you could add fuel to the Sun and make it hotter. There are enough which has been done to pay each of our sin debts because the blood that Jesus shed paid for each person’s debts from the beginning of the world until the end.

It is the coldness of our hearts which cause us to ignore the gift which is offered for our salvation. It is also our own selfishness which puts us in that shape as well because we want to keep doing things our way and we don’t want to change. Nor do we want Jesus to change our hearts so that we are comfortable with Him being in our lives to make us more like Him.

So, how much of the world is selfish enough to be described as “cold as ice”? If you search for the answer on the Internet it will be somewhere between two-thirds and three-quarters of the world’s population who really don’t want much to do with Jesus. Many of them will actually say that they attend church weekly or pray to God daily, which is nice but where does their heart belong? Does Jesus know them well enough to have them written in the Book of Life?

Those questions can only be answered by God and they will be answered when they stand in front of Him, but at that point…it will be too late to change your mind or ask Him to come in and fix your sinful heart. Make sure that you know without a doubt where you are in that relationship because when you truly find out it may be too late to change.