When you feel down, you don’t want to do anything. When you feel blue, you just don’t feel right. Depression makes you feel this way too, but in a more concrete way, by that I mean in a way that is not easily gotten over. Which of course is another thing that many people will tell you with all of the insensitivity that this contains, “Get over it!”.
When you feel like you are blue or you are just having a bad day, nothing seems to go right.
Depression and feeling depressed gives you a bad day which lasts much longer, sometimes, than you would care for it to.
Feeling blue or down in the dumps can be fixed by a lively song or a cheerful child or even a happy book or movie. The “blues” go away and you are yourself again. Depression is something which cannot be fixed by a happy song or any of the things which help a “blue” day. As a matter of fact, some of these so-called fixes can make the depression worse…can make it even deeper than it was.
Feeling sorry for yourself is another form of the “blues”, but it is nothing in comparison to depression at all. It’s like comparing a fire-cracker to an atomic bomb, they both go “BOOM”, but with far greater intensity and destruction in the atomic bomb’s case.
It is the same with depression, feeling blue is easily fixed…while depression is like an ongoing “bad day”. Drugs can help, but chemicals only go as far as they can go. Therapy can help, but confession to others only gives you a support group to spread the pain around with.
Time, prayer, and faith in God’s healing power is the only real cure for depression. Although, Satan will try to derail that with more intense feelings of despair and depression. The answer….I don’t have it. It is found in God’s Word, in faith and in fellowship with God’s people. Fellowship and the caring love demonstrated by them toward you, as a child of God, is the only REAL cure but it still takes time. It is not a quick fix, like we expect in our society today.
It is not easy and coming to the church is hard to do especially when you are depressed, because there will always be someone who thinks that you are just feeling sorry for yourself, when that is far from the truth. Whether they voice their opinion or not doesn’t matter, the look that you may get are just as cutting…just as hurtful.
You can fake “getting better”, but inside depression doesn’t go away like “feeling blue or down”. It is more similar to an alcoholic. Some think that it is a personal demon to be conquered, but it is one that truly doesn’t go away entirely. An alcoholic may be sober for years, but one drink can send them back and depression is like that. You might be OK for a while, but one trigger, one bad day can send you right back into the well of depression again.
Prayer and fellowship is the only real helpful fix for your state of mind. Intercessory prayer from friends is more helpful than anyone can know, so I am asking for this from all of you, and I Thank you in advance for your prayers.
The Living Message of Christ 
The worst part about people like you going through this dark period is that many Christians within the church escalate the situation through condemnation and rash judgement against you. So may go as far as saying that you have “sinned against God” and He is punishing you for your lack of faith. Call that adding salt to the wound! A wound that leaves a scar in your soul for years.
Sometimes, teachers who had me for years underestmate my potential because of my blindness and my past. One time last semester, they mistakenly believed that I was depressed and had emotional disturbances. They looked at my dark past and want to jump to conclusions because of my lifestyle and the way I lived. I can understand some of the stigma attached to your situation. God hears your cries, and is watching you. Keep fighting, Tracy!
Here is a touching poem I wrote about myself during quarantine as I reflected on my life. I was 16 at the time. It’s called “You Will Never Understand”.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LcAklR4broCym6Civvof8MO97W_7RJ9sUefJMu0TVMM/edit?usp=drivesdk
I only had one serious depression episode. That was while I was preaching.
Wow! It was actually after you gave your sermon, or during your sermon?
Yes, after. I was at a small church and those who were there just seemed disinterested in my sermons. Not just the one that I did that day.
That is so sad! Tracy, you got hit really bad. That filthy lying old madman!!
Considering that your confession was way back in 2017, this must have been a very hard battle for you. I know that God has guided you every step of the way. How are you doing now in 2022?
I’m doing great! My preaching is the site that you are reading so no problems 😃.
I started preaching at that small church in 2011 and they decided to not come back in February of last year. So I didn’t even get to stay until I had been there ten years.